The real reason I am not on antibiotics

I've heard it's bad to go on antibiotics, I tell my doctor. I've heard your body develops strains of bacterial infections that are resistant. I think my body should fight this off on its own.

My doctor is so impressed he writes me a prescription for muscle relaxers and smiles. Keep using that nasal spray, he says.

I sure will.

You can't drink when you're on antibiotics. Or you can, but you'll probably vomit up all that pricey scotch. And the generic alone costs $20. No thank you.

There are certain situations my health insurance won't cover.