Rainy Day Woman - 23

Rainy Day Woman - 23

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Reply to: pers-539377614@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-14, 9:54PM EST


I'm not going to stone you,
but please stop reading if you're not a Bob Dylan fan.
Please stop reading if you're a vegetarian,
or even worse, a republican.

Stop reading if you don't consider grammar essential in letter writing,
or even worse, don't consider letter writing.

I hope most of you are gone now.

I'm short. I'm a redhead. I'm an atheist Jew.
I'm opinionated.
I'm ridiculous.

Good, now the rest of them are gone.

I read the New Yorker, or the Atlantic,
and always the New York Times.
I work in publishing.

I sometimes talk to strangers on the subway,
but only if they look interesting. I'm very pretty.

If an old man tries to buy me a drink at a bar I will decline,
and if he insists, I will order single malt scotch.
He usually leaves me alone after that.

(I love single malt scotch.
But I can't really afford it.
I have the taste of an old man sometimes.

It's funny because I'm cute.)

I think there should be a way to order a steak
between rare and medium rare,
because I think medium rare has become the new medium.

You must either laugh at my jokes or roll your eyes and smile.

You must be smart.
Not law school smart.
Not i-banker smart.
I mean sharp, confident, and able to discuss
Coetzee or Auster or even Vonnegut while also enjoying a good
"That's what she said" mixed in.

I'm sorry.
You must be tall(ish).

English must be your first language.
Did I mention I work in publishing?

You must email me something to get my attention,
and it must not be your penis.
Please god do not email me your penis.

This isn't going to work because everyone on Craigslist is
an ugly stupid desperate freak.
And not even the good sort of freak.

You must prove me wrong.